When you bleed EVERYONE bleeds.

Unemployment is stressful for the person experiencing it, but it also affects your family and friends.  They worry about you CONSTANTLY. Its such a relief when you can finally say, I got a job, so they can stop worrying.  I was thinking today of some of the funny conversations I got into with family related to my employment (or lack there of).

My uncle John told me once that he invests in the stock market based on whether or not I was working.  I was in shock.  He explained, "You have a college degree, you are smart, and you are a hard worker. If you can't find a job, the economy is bad."    This was a shock to me. I had no idea I was his barometer!

When he told me of his investment strategy, I had just gotten the job at Elastic (I was unemployed over a year).  So I said, "So now that I am working, you can invest?"  He said, "Nope, the day you were hired, my friend Rob lost his job in IT...so as far as I am concerned, the economy is still bad...and by the way, I'd really appreciate it if you got a job outside of publishing."  The pressure!

My dad's best friend, who I call my uncle Pete was so excited when he heard I had an interview for a job.  At dinner, he kept asking me questions about the interview.  He wanted to know what I was going to wear, what I would say and how I was planning to get my hair cut.  The topic dominated the meal. My uncle Pete is a retired fireman and is by no means a fashion expert.  Anyway, after I had my hair cut, and straightened for he interview, I sent uncle Pete a photo.  Later, my dad told me that Uncle Pete wanted me to cut my hair shorter, because "Shorter" it looked more professional.   I finally did go shorter...but I don't know if it really helped...by the time I finally got a job, it was probably the same legnth as in the photo I sent Uncle Pete.

Parents are always worried about my working.  Every conversation starts with, "How's work?"  Which is normal.  But I always feel like they are waiting for me to say, "Not good."  My last layoff, I was given a month's notice.  I waited 3 weeks to tell my parents, in the hopes that I would find something else before I had to tell them.  It was silly.  I don't live with them, I never ask them for money...but they worry.  My dad is 70+ years old and he won't retire because he says he has to "support the family" (all of which typically have jobs and income of their own). 

In a recent phone conversation, I told him about the recent lay-offs at Elastic.  I told him I was going to keep my head down and stay as long as they would have me.  My thought was that right now, nothing is really safe, so it doesn't make sense to get another job, when maybe this might actually work out.  I love Elastic and while we are going through a tough time, I'd really like to stay.  My dad said he "liked the way I was thinking" and he really wasn't too worried about me because I was "resourceful" and made the most of my last unemployment stint.   That made me feel pretty good.  Now I don't have to second guess my plan.

I love that my family cares so much about me...but I really wish they didn't have to worry. Frankly I wish I didn't have to worry. It really would be nice to just be able to love my work, let my hair grow long, and start planning for retirement.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Everybody's got plans... until they get hit." Mike Tyson

Arrrrrggggghhhhh...Its Happening AGAIN!

Oh God...survivors guilt during a layoff is HUGE.  But I learned my lesson.  Don't be so quick to  think you are the lucky one who gets to stay.  You never know what's around the corner.

At my last layoff, I made it through the first round, and then I was one of the stragglers that came later.  I had a very false sense of security.  I sure learned the hard way. 

This was a rough week at Elastic. I don't know what to think.  I was just starting to feel good about being employed.  I saw a light at the end of the tunnel with my finances.   I am approaching my 2 year anniversary fully employed.  I know that staying one place for a long time, is not going to be common anymore.

Well, I know what I have to do.  I have to keep my head down...and do my work and if I am next, it is my turn.  I can not let worry drag me under. 


QUOTE OF THE DAY: 

"What you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. The fear you let build up in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exists.”― Spencer Johnson